I just now realized I had another blog post to do and now that I've talked about everything I wanted to talk about in the class I'm stuck.

OH: Shout out to Mr.Stephens for being one of the nicest teachers I've ever had. I feel bad for not being so great at his class even though I do try and I'm glad he's so understanding when I had to constantly call him over for help on Jeroo (it's like you get it when it's explained to you and you move on and then nothing makes sense anymore?).

Next semester I'm going to try to be a better student.

Of course I always say that.

But, I can always try a little bit harder.

I don't know.

It's winter break though and I have Breaking Bad to start and finish by the time school starts back up again.

And I'm kind of excited.



Oh yeah and Christmas. That's a plus.

I hope you have a good break as well.

OK. COMPUTER PROGRAMMING THOUGh
Even though it turned out to be more stressful than I thought it would be, I did enjoy it this semester. Yes, it got a lot harder towards the end and I tried to keep up, but you can't win everything, or be good at anything I guess is what I'm trying to get at.
And my dad has been so excited that I'm taking a class that has to do with what he really likes, so he asks me about it all the time and always wants to know what we are doing and I'm glad he's taken an interest in a class I'm taking at school but it isn't something I want to pursue, and I don't know if he realizes that?? That was a run on sentence sorry.
I do wish I was a pro at coding though, because recently I've been working more on my tumblr and changing my HTML around a little bit and I like having that control over it, knowing if I don't like something I can change it around a bit until I do. I just want to be better at, but maybe one day.
Things I'm trying to learn, and I'll probably try to teach myself some more photoshop over the break.

WELL, it's been a really stressful last couple of weeks. My parents have been on me about passing all my classes (which is sad that it's actually gotten to this point to begin with) and I've been freaking out making sure that I can at least get my grades under control for right now (and with colleges checking my transcripts) IT'S BEEN HECTIC to say the least.

I REALLY tried to do well on my computer programming final too and I thought I could do it because I had figured out the other lab one's but when I opened it up, I tried everything I could think of to do and nothing worked. I even programmed the entire thing without using a method, which I found out was illegal (soo hurrah to that) and I felt so bad that I couldn't figure it out and everyone around me was able to do it and I felt so completely pathetic it was awful.

I almost had it, kind of, except the Jeroo wouldn't stop running through the loop and it would turn around and not finish the entire maze, which didn't make any sense to me because I had programmed it so that it wouldn't do that? I don't really know, I just know that it was too stressful for me. MAHYN.

So I haven't checked Gradespeed at all this six weeks which is when I realized that I haven't done any blog posts and I just thought "wow ok i suck obvs" because I am incapable of doing these or something. And I'm pretty sure at this point, the grading system is, if you don't do it a week or something after it's due then it's a zero which sucks but WHAT CAN YOU DO.

Well this is interesting, I will have to talk about the last few weeks of my life.

I really like Jeroo even though I don't think I'm that good at it but I get REALLY EXCITED WHEN I DO SOMETHING RIGHT AND OMG I GET IT, it's just kinda the best ok.

And I didn't finish to Lab 5A whoops, I don't even know what to do about that, probably just sit and cry in my closet and drink myself into a coma

That was a joke btw I don't do that.

Sometimes I look at my grades and laugh because I don't remember it being so awful, like at least last year there was just one class I struggled with and all the others I did fairly well and this year it's just like WHOOPS WELL THERE THEY GO and ugh oh well.

Oh well is my answer to pretty much everything.

Except Christmas because best time of year lbr.

(that means let's be real...im hip)

I decided that I'm going to attempt getting only books for people or something because I think it will be really hard to do, but I forgot how much I love reading and I just want to give good books to people. It would be sweet.

I was supposed to college this weekend but looks like that didn't happen

Oh but the Trail of Lights is THURSDAY I'm going to cry I love the TOL OK

Oh ok, more about computer programming: At first I did not like the coding stuff (if you can call it that) but now I'm digging it I really just want to learn how to html some things so I can change my theme around on Tumblr, I have things in perspective you know. Not really.

I also decided that there needs to be a "how to become a pro in photoshop class" because i would sign up for that first choice i want to be pro but ugh it's so hard to sit down and learn.

This is the first time I've ever not been able to eat while watching American Horror Story...well done on that one...I'm impressed.

I'm not really sure what we were supposed to turn in, in Computer Programming like I'm failing and I'm not sure why. I wasn't there yesterday, but I thought I had done all my blog posts, I did them weekly and I turned in the project we did in class.

I don't like how class is going right now. I liked the first six weeks where things made more sense and I'm so stressed with other classes, and then this class?? I didn't want it to be like this and I don't even understand HOW.

This and art.

Everything is so annoying.

Ridiculously annoying.

It's really late and I'm watching NYC Prep for some reason and working on filling out applications (something I'm finally doing hooray). I don't really know why I'm watching this show, it's like the real housewives but worse because everyone is 15-18 and pretentious rich assholes. It's refreshing to know these people actually exist.

Anyway, COMPUTER PROGRAMMING. We took a benchmark this past week and I did horrible on it. Which is depressing, not too much, but I realized I had no idea what it was even talking about and I couldn't even b.s. my way through the short answer section because I didn't even know what it was asking me. That was interesting.

We are getting into the more gritty programming, coding, whatever part of the class and I'm nervous because I already know I'm not going to understand much. I'm crossing my fingers it will be ok though. Hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be.

Tbh, I keep getting distracted by this episode. PC (18) is helping out Taylor who is 15 get into the higher class social scene and get invited to ALL THE AMAZING EVENTS and it is causing some tension between friend groups. Very scandalous.

It's so pathetic how I'm sucked into this. Oh well. I like the drama.

Also their parties are very high class in nice apartments and they sit on couches and talk about relationships. I would like to attend one of these cause the ones I go to seem very immature compared to these like GEEZ!

But then again I'm like older than all these people.

I was out like...all of last week, so idk really what was going on in class. I did go back and review everything we had went over and then do the assignments we had to answer though. It's just kinda weird coming back to school and having no idea whats going on. Because a week is...long, and coming to school on Friday I had no idea what was happening. It was just a big blur. So that was fun.

This project has been tedious just because the Photoshop I was using at my house is really slow since my brother has put like 50 viruses this past year on my dad's computer (which is the only one with Photoshop in the house besides my laptop...that still needs the charger replaced) and having that opened and the internet made it crash a few times. Even though my dad said he's done everything to clean the computer it's still ridiculously slow. Yet, my brother still insists on downloading stupid Minecraft skins from random sites because he's in sixth grade and doesn't understand what the blue screen of death is. He just turns off the computer and walks away, waiting to blame it on someone else.

But yeah, it took forever to do anything because everything was very much slow. And, I'm not a huge Photoshop person, cause the last time I worked with it, was about two years ago and meh I just don't care enough to try to learn it (This you can tell from seeing my edit, but whatcanyado).

Generally everything is bland at the moment...hooray. School has turned into my favorite thing possibly ever and I'm really on top of all my classes and make up work and college and essays and interviews and I hate everything.


Good thing I'm taking a year off....

Same.

Weekend Update with Seth Meyers:

I just finished watching The Walking Dead and I was yelling practically the whole way through so my throat is hurting just a little bit, but what can you do because that show is really good and I don't know how else to explain it I just love it ok ok ok.

And American Horror Story Asylum comes back on Wednesday I'm going to kill somebody. 

Also I thought Zayn retweeted me and I fell on the ground and started crying like who does that crazy people do that obviously I have a problem oh wait I already knew that what am I talking about it was to be expected.

This is the most accurate depiction of what I looked like (and it went from perfectly happy to this in about a span of maybe two seconds).

Lol I used a gif from skins which is one of my favorite shows ever whoops.

Also I want to go back and talk about Social Media and such again because that was my favorite, but this class has more than that so I just have to deal. The project we are doing now is ok, but part of it feels rushed, I don't know why, but it does. And I feel weird about this whole 50% off thing now if something is late, because sometimes I forget and I don't know I know that's not a valid excuse but sometimes it's not updated with stuff to do and I figure I'm good since I don't check it everyday then I get to class and log on and BAM there's something we were supposed to do cause it got put up the day before and I didn't check it that day, whine whine whine. Life.

And applications are due in like a month and I just have been putting it off because I'm so lazy and I don't want to do anything and stress and what if I took a year off but people always say that's such a horrible idea but sometimes it's good I don't know. Generally I just hate everything. All the time. 

Same Sid...same. 

Well, this past week was very meh. In general it was a big sigh and I didn't really know what to do about it. You know those weeks where it's like going through the motions

I'm like Buffy that one time she sang that one song during that one episode

I like the ad project we are doing right now. Kinda. Mostly I'm just amazed my group even said it was cool to do One Direction. Like when I turned around and said "Alright guys on a scale of one to one direction how ok are you with doing the project on 1d?" I was expecting them to laugh, cause I was making a joke. But then they agreed. So basically wut. I don't even know what my life is anymore to be honest.

I think it's annoying though to get permission for stuff though (meaning the pictures that we use for the photoshop part of the project because where am I supposed to find pictures of One Direction that I can easily have permission to use, they aren't like a soda, people don't take creative little hipster pictures of them because the only pictures we get of them are from the pap, interviews (so screen caps) and then sometimes fans but normally they are really bad quality of them walking by or they are pics with fans and I'm not using those obviously). When I'm on Tumblr and people have their edits of them, they didn't get permission to use that particular picture, they just did it because people honestly don't care. No one gets permission for anything, it's like music and how the government thought they were going to enforce laws to stop illegal downloading, because it's not happening...ever...ever ever. I don't get it. I mean, I get the whole principle of it, but really? No one asks for permission for anything anymore honestly. Mostly, I'm just peeved I have nothing to use for this edit I have to make and I made one before class and had it all prepared but I took pictures of them from their album cover and such because I thought...who cares? But no, I have to start all over and do something else.

Reasons why I'm a little bit angry.

Maybe I just don't have any respect for people's property. Oh well. 

Basically this is just me with my life right now, especially regarding not being able to use pictures.

I'm probably just going to have to use the 1d dolls and take some dumb picture on my own. This is what it's looking like and my group is side-eyeing me about it, but come on guys, chill out (I mean I did finish my portion I just didn't know I needed permission or whatever so hah). 

Maybe we could all just smile and remember that there are some beautiful things in the world.

like the fact that zayn and liam are totally-

oh you know...

I saw Perks of Being a Wallflower this weekend and it was really good and everything I wanted it to be, but at the same time it was super depressing and basically the entire time I was like 'same' to almost every little thing that happened and I don't know whether that's good or bad. Either way...eh life.

the only happy part of the movie was when they graduated, but then again it was also really sad so I guess it actually wasn't happy because laced with sadness

This post is generally going to be short and I wanted to kind of talk about my only problem with the way the Computer Programming class is structured, and that's the homework that we have to do and respond to online. I understand that it's important for the class but I always feel like there's a lot of responding and I generally don't have too much to say and I have to stretch it out to fit the requirements expected of me. I don't know if it's because I'm lazy but I don't like having to respond to a bunch of stuff for the class. Sometimes it feels irrelevant..I don't know but I wish there was less responding on the computer and more of talking about it in the classroom because I know that you can view other people's comments on the discussion boards but I never do and I feel like in class discussions (having them more frequently to take away the amount we respond online) would be better. 

oh yeah that's model Zayn just because.

and in that moment I swear we were infinite

Welll...we finished up the Conspiracy Theory project and moved on to the innovations section of Thriving in Our Digital World (which is cool like whoop whoop moving on and what not). Even though I don't like this section nearly as much, it's fine and I can deal.

My dad was pretty excited about our new binary project though where we have ten candles and we have to arrange them in binary to represent our grandmothers age. He's a big computer geek and has been waiting for me to approach him about this class because it's very much his thing.

Anyway I asked him if he could explain the different bases and how that changes the numbering system and he basically had a field day.

I even got him a binary clock for his birthday a couple years ago (still happy it's sitting in his office).

Then he went into detail about bits and stuff and I kind of tuned out for a while because it's not entirely that interesting to me, but I can't disappoint him so I just nod my head a lot and say "oh yeah that makes sense." It seemed to work (not like it ever doesn't) so that was GREAt. 

This whole week has been very blah and I've been sick, so I missed a day of Comp. Prog. which is why I asked my dad about binary. He made me do problems too, like where he would give me a number and I had to convert it. Very exciting stuff (wow, I never use the word very anymore cause my english teacher told me not to do that back in tenth grade...idk why that was important now but ok)

And then on top of that my mood has been NO GOOD because Liam and Danielle are no longer dating and it's just the saddest thing because they were dating for FOREVER and Liam got a 'D' tattooed and just now it's all gone to complete poop and it's like the world isn't right anymore.

I mean look at this, his body language, everything is so off and it kills me (when they asked Louis and Zayn about their girlfriends and it was so awk because Liam was always the one to pipe in and talk about Danielle cause he was so proud of her, ugh this whole interview was terrible to watch).

and then Louis is comforting him and it's just...I'm so done with everything

(questions that are NOT OK to ask)

But like wow, when did a boy band become so depressing. That's four people in the band who are just like not happy anymore that sucks like....

So this has pretty much been me this entire week. 

Well, we finally finished the CONSPIRACY THEORY project and presented on Friday, which was cool. It was a bit of a rush at the end, but we got through it and I liked the project quite a lot, so that helped (general interest = better performance/presentation right?) 

But I'm ready to move onto the next topic (even though I really liked talking about social media and networking and what not because that's my ELEMENT).

Also, changing groups? Can that be something we don't do because I can't imagine being in class without Caleigh sitting next to me because sometimes people take things WAY too seriously and I don't want to be next to people who are all about workworkworkwork and no fun/laughs whatever you want to call it.

all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

Oh, and that movie activity where we had to rate (15 I think it was) movies: Yes, I watch a ton of tv, movies, youtube vids concerning One Direction, interviews, EVERYTHING and when I went through the list of movies I was really confused/amazed how a lot of people have no culture and haven't seen movies like The Exorcist or The Shining (it's close to October I'm getting ready!). Like, how have they not seen the classics or at least heard of them. I don't know, maybe it's because I spend more time watching movies/tv than I do actually interacting with people (it's my choice I get annoyed easily). But what can you do? 

(Concerning the presentations though, I thought there could be a different way to do that, because it feels like a waste of time for ten groups to present the same thing over and over again and it wasn't exactly clear what we needed to include (cause some groups had similar points and others not really) when it came to the rubric and presentation.)

Ok on top of that I just want to add the new One Direction video/song Live While We're Young came out this past week (and I might along with Caleigh have seen the leaked video that was put up on Twitter and then taken down before possibly most everyone else did-wut up r3al fanz over her3) and let me just say IT'S REALLY GOOD. So far, as I post this at 11:49 tonight (it's playing right now go figure) I've listened to it 425 times since it has been released (but I think I left it on during something cause that's wow I deserve an award). 

"C'mon and let me sneak you out"

"I know we only met but let's pretend it's love"

"Tonight let's get some and live while we're young"

"Don't over think just let it go"

"And if we get together, ya get together, don't let the pictures leave your phone"

"And girl, you and I, we bout to make some memories tonight"

some lines from Live While We're Young

Free to your interpretation what the song is about

Welp. Blog post #1. This is exciting stuff. 

It's been a few weeks since school started and sometimes when I'm at school I think man, this is the best time of my life right here I should probably live it up. 
But I don't. Whoops.

So, Computer Programming has been pretty good though, I wasn't that excited for the class, but I'm actually enjoying it so far. We watch a lot of videos with facts facts facts! and then we talk about them. For the most part it's been about social media and networking and wat nawt which is, my favorite, so I'm sad that soon we are probably..going to talk about other things like hard drives and the stuff my dad talks about at dinner when he wants everyone to know he knows a lot about computers.

SEGWAY SEGWAY SEGWAY

Oh, and we are doing a project that makes me feel like a DETECTIVE and stuff which I LOVE because that's basically what I do during my daily life. LIKE FOR EXAMPLE TODAY: Louis Tomlinson of One Direction tweeted today but it was obviously management because they do have control of all the boys twitter but mostly they use Louis' because he's taking one for the team and being a amazayn for doing that but anyway he tweeted today and it was not him because he did a bunch of rude replies to fans saying things like Larry Stylinson was b.s. (which is the pairing of Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles from the band because they have been dating for ever since the band got together and are in love and this is kind of another story, but it's the main reason why management gets on his twitter so they can kind of tell people that it's not true even though it very much is - hah. nice try modest!). So basically he lost a lot of followers today and it was sad because there's a big portion of the fandom who just doesn't get anything and runs around singing I WANT TO MARRY LOUIS! I WANT TO MARRY HARRY! But like cmon you are a thirteen year old girl, that's not going to happen also they are gay so that's a double no unless you are a guy, then it's a little more reachable I guess, but not really.  Cmon people its embarrassing.

BUT THAT RANT was like this project, where someone got hacked on the fb and bullied someone else and we have to figure out who did it, which is like super not hard because I DO THIS ALL THE TIME and so it's a lot of reading into how people type and stuff. Pro I guess man. Shoo

Another thing I don't want to do is change groups because I find it hard to work with people who take things too seriously, like let's have a laugh and have some fun while we do projects okay. But you know how people can be. It's mega depressing.

Also, on one of the Fakebook walls, I think it was Chris...yes it was. He posted this vid and I thought man it's Friday and I haven't watched the vids so I did and it was one of those cheesy looking love vids and I was like ok this is kind of cute and then BAM it turned out it was two gay guys and I started crying because it was captioned "It's time people," and I get really emotional about this stuff because HARRY AND LOUIS OK they can't come out (And if you think I'm crazy just wait until the end of the year when they do it's going to be BIG NEWS I promise you, I know what I'm talking about) so I cried a bit in class and that was fun. Then I fell in love with Chris a little bit and I wanted to be his friend, but then I realized he was a fake person so......

The main idea so far: I really love being a detective and I like the conspiracy project and then the things we are talking about in Comp. Prog. (woah abbreviations) so far so hooray!

OH AND I FIGURED OUT MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME:

She hates everybody, anything, everything and she is my hero so I'm going to be a sumo wrestler after they lost the weight because April is me. 

And this is Zayn Malik, which is where I got my blog title and url from (I'll probably talk more in depth about him later). He smokes and has tattoos because some Bradford Bad boys just want to watch the world burn.

hope you guiz r ready fer teh party